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The art of travel

Travelling

That was one of the extra-curricular activities/hobbies on my resume a few months ago. I have since removed it because I’ve always thought it to be a very cliched hobby to have. I’ve replaced it with other seemingly more niche hobbies (but that hasn’t made much difference to my career).

But the thing is that a hobby is a hobby. If you have that travel bug inside you then no matter what you’re likely to go places, or at least dream about going places. In the last four months, I’ve traveled considerably. I’ve been to a few places known, and a few unknown. So the travel bug is definitely active within me. But compared to me there are travellers who have explored the length and width of the globe and it is for them I wrote this post.

Recently I saw a video on Youtube about this guy who has travelled all around the world. The unique thing about his travels is that he performs this funny yet infectious dance every where he goes. Probably you might have heard of him, his name is Matt Harding, and the video is aptly titled Where the hell is Matt? He has also appeared in a Visa ad doing the same dance. His profile even has a cheekily named video Where the hell is Matt’s girlfriend [then?!] I found out about this video through another wonderful video made by final year students of IIT Madras. The video has the same theme, with students doing that funny dance in front of all the major landmarks in IIT Madras (Funny how could they forget Gajendra Circle of all places!) It won the best video award for Adieu 2009 (which is the farewell program for the final year batches). The interesting thing is that this video is an excellent example of a viral campaign, where Matt explains that his original video is a hoax. People lined up to see this confession, and then Matt releases another video saying that the hoax was actually a hoax! Some amazing stuff there.

There is this another guy Michael Hughes who gets souveniers from each of the places he visits and superimposes them in the pictures he takes. Take a look at his amazing gallery on Flickr.

I have travelled quite insignificantly compared to these fellows. Yet I plan to do so extensively in the future. After all this blog is all about a never ending search. Although I still haven’t uploaded my collection of Patel shots but someday there will be quite a few of them from my side. Till then I keep getting inspired from travellers like them.

PS -I have no idea where to fit the following paragraph. So it stays quietly in the postscript.

On one hand we Indians love to travel. Yet it seems that we Indians haven’t yet perfected the art of travel. For us, travel means planning the trip from start to end right up to the breakfast, lunch and dinner we’re going to have each day. Each person has a dedicated suitcase in which clothes are stuffed, with a couple extra thrown in just in case. We pack our own food, which includes everything ranging from rotis, theplas, pickles, fruits, biscuits and a huge watter bottle. On the other hand, I’ve seen foreign citizens in India carrying nothing but a backpack on their shoulders. Nothing in their trip is planned. Even the exchange students here in IIT take an impromptu trip during the weekends by hiring a bike and taking off. Guess the motto of the Indian traveller is Be prepared.

The steps from confusion to enlightenment

Confusion is the first step to enlightenment

This may seem to be an off hand remark about some esoteric zen philosophy but every time I say it out or think about it, I realize more and more how true it really is. Confusion results from a question. The question results from the desire to know something. The question results in the individual finding out the answer to the question. Finding out the answer to the question leads to enlightenment. And so you have it. Confusion is the first step to enlightenment. There, I’ve become a philosopher.

Dharma rocks, yo!

Throwing shoes at politicians… a new national sport?

What’s with the sudden increase in the incidents of shoes being thrown at politicians all around the world? Recently India has witnessed a rapid rise in such incidents, most of the targets being politicians. The latest incident is that of a school teacher throwing his shoe at Congress MP Naveen Jindal. Has it now become the choice of protest for us? Has burning effigies gone out of fashion? Why the hell am I posing so many questions?

What started out as a moment of boldness by Muntadhar al-Zaidi, the journalist who threw his size 10 shoes at George dubya Bush as a farewell gift is all set to metamorphosis into a national phenomenon. And luckily the targets have been well-chosen. Politicians. Now that is a group disliked and hated by members of all communities. And with the general elections coming up, the emotions of the public are likely to be on the edge. And that is why I fear we could have a tipping point very soon. Iraq is already training the next generation of shoe throwers who can aim better and harder. If the politicians don’t get their act right, the day is not far when the audience will let out a shower of dirty muddy shoes on the local neta when he comes out the next time promising bijli, sadak, and pani or asking for votes.

And as usual the MBA part of my mind strategises how I can make money out of it. I’m wondering whether it would be a good idea to buy shares in footwear companies. If the demand for such shoe hurling increases, then companies will have to ramp up production and I will make some serious capital gains. Or should I start a shoe polishing shack near the venues of election rallies. I can encourage people to shine their shoes before they let their anger out on the netas. For 5 Rs more, you can get a premium shine with extra polish to get some extra shine (on the neta’s face).

However you can count on the cunning politician to convert even this ridicule into a thing of pride. They’re most likely to say, “People have thrown shoes at me and at my opponents too. I respect them for that. But what I am here to proclaim is that I have been hit by your shoes for the most number of times. That shoes shows how much you love me. If you elect me, I promise to open new shoe shops in your town. We can have annual shoe flinging competitions where the best thrower will get a chance to campaign for me in the next election. So I ask you to please vote for me.”  Remember to press the right button. Our election symbol is shoe polish. You provide the shoe, we provide the polish.”

To paraphrase the whole trend, I will borrow a dialogue from Frank Miller’s 300

Common Man – A thousand billion citizens of the Indian Republic descend upon you. Our shoes will blot out the sun
Politician – Then we will fight with your soles (souls?)

Marriage in the time of recession

or 7 ways to cut corners and trim costs during your marriage

As with any kind of investment, marriages have also taken a hit during the recent financial crisis. Couples are likely to postpone their wedding plans more than ever. Big fat weddings are gradually turning into tiny anorexic affairs. Although I’ve also read conflicting reports about marriages actually being on the rise in some places. Maybe that joke doing the rounds that “the situation is so bad that women are actually marrying for love nowadays” has some truth in it. Whatever be the case, for people willing to walk the plank tie the knot I’ve devised a few tips for saving money during and after the marriage. And yeah, these tips are more suitable for an Indian style wedding.

With apologies to Gabriel Garcia Marquez for plagiarizing the title, here is the collection of best practices. I do not claim a copyright on these techniques, but just in case you plan to implement any of them, do invite me to your marriage. I promise I won’t hog.

Tips for a recessionary marriage

1. Invite all your guests using email. It will save a lot on effort and resources while designing, printing and distributing wedding cards. And if you have a friend like me who can use Photoshop, you can probably pay him, or give him a invite him to the wedding as well. This “email shaadi card” trend is already gaining popularity with the IT crowd, what with every one sending one with the post script, “consider this mail as a personal invitation.” What do you want me to do? Print it out and show it at the entrance when I come to your wedding?
2. If the pundit has agreed to agreed to a unit rate contract, then you can make do with 3-4 pheras. Of course, value for money is paramount in a recession so if you can convince the pundit to go for a fixed price contract, it will work out in your favour. Be sure to extract maximum value by running around the holy fire a couple of times more to strengthen the bond with your better half all the better.
3. If if doesn’t hurt your ego too much, get rid of the white horse for your baaraat. Hire a mule, get it painted white and jump on it. The mule will be able to handle your weight for a longer duration and you can probably make it go round the wedding hall a couple of times before entering.
4. Serve limited meals during the reception. Consider a choice between a couple of rotis, or a handful of rice. Prominently display Gandhiji’s famous saying – “Eat to live, do not live to eat” near the food counters. People wanting to eat more can buy an unlimited meal coupon by paying Rs 50 at the gift counter.
5. Skip the sweets. Lifestyle based diseases are on the rise in the middle and upper class Indian households, according to a recent report by KPMG. Why should you add to the guests’ medical bill by spoiling their sweet tooth?
6. Go for a combo engagement-wedding. Saves time on rent for the wedding hall and people, food, transportation etc. Even your guests will be impressed by this innovative double-bill feature.
7. The Indian tourism industry is in tatters. Cancel your flight tickets to that exotic travel destination and book a ticket to that lonely ignored hill station within the country. Must I remind you to go for the Sleeper compartment in the train?

December is the month of marriages in India. Although it is still some time way, if the economy doesn’t stabilize, one may really need to cut back on spending. Like these, they can be many more ways to cut corners and save some more bucks. Maybe you the reader can contribute more of such tips and help a few adventurous couples take the next logical(?) step in their life together. So until the next recessionary cycle, here’s wishing all such souls a happily married life.

In spite of the Gods – Book review

I just finished reading the book “In spite of the Gods – The strange rise of modern India” by Edward Luce. I had eyed this book since a long time and had delayed buying it for some reason. Luckily, I found a second-hand copy of the book in Pondicherry. I had started reading the book on my way back to Pondicherry, and to my utter surprise (and shock), the first paragraph itself had a mention of Pondicherry and the community set up near it, Auroville. The introduction talks about the author’s meetings with people living in Auroville and how India is known mainly for its spirituality. The author seemed none too amused by this impression of India and that is what he sets out to change in the book.

The author, Edward Luce, covers all the major areas of concern for India, which include social, political, religious and economic. The structure of the book itself is such that each chapter focuses on one burning issue from these field. Luce covers India pre-independence, the timeline of the major political parties and the rise of the newer parties. Religion ocupies a central position in Indian households and he focuses on the largest two religions in the country and the problems which have arisen between them as well. He goes on to analyze India’s past relation with the US and the Soviets, and the current equation between India-China and India-Pakistan.

The book ends with the issues India faces and the opportunities the country has to become a major power in the 21st century. According to the author, India would do well not to become complacent of its newfound growth. Only if it deals with the issues in a proactive  manner will it manage to reach the level which is being expected of it. And one of the important ways is by the electorate to vote in such a way which brings the political party most capable of bringing about the change which is required. This endnote becomes all the more relevant in light of the up coming elections.

What I really liked about the book was its comprehensiveness in all the issues it tackles. Luce does not refrain from calling a spade a spade. The interplays between rival political parties especially SP vs BSP is wittitly depicted with Amar Singh again making a fool out of himself. Luce has described the rise of caste politics quite vividly. The book goes beyond slums and spirituality which is all what India is made out to be. I totally agree with the author’s belief that India is much more than a few squalid slums and some old-age Vedic literature. Luce makes the book more interesting by its witty jokes and humourous anecdotes he has come across while living in India.

The cons of this books are minor, yet I’ll list them down all the same. More space could have been devoted to the rise of IT in India. I know this industry has been written to death but in a book about the rise of modern India, IT should deserve a considerable share. Luce could also have researched more about the rise of manufacturing in India which is all set to accelerate in growth once the global economy gets back on track. Also I noticed that the author seemed to have a very critical view on Bollywood where he describes the typical Indian movie as “a blend of brilliantly choreographed titillation.” Agreed that song, dance and rain play a major role in Indian movies, but lately the film industry has also produced very good movies. If anything else, the author would have had good words for alternate Indian cinema. Luce also had a negative view of the nationalist political parties in India, which for all pratical purposes, means the BJP. The author himself admits to this bias.

All in all, I found In spite of the Gods to be a quite comprehensive read about modern India. The book goes beyond a superficial introduction to the country and dives well into some of the major issues affecting the country in recent times. It explains patiently the contradictions which India faces at each and every step of its journey. Luce has painted a masterpiece about one of the fastest developing nations in the world. Which brings me to my next question – Why do foreign nationals, be it Edward Luce, Gregory David Roberts or William Dalrymple make for better writers about India than us Indians?

Three types of chain mails

I’ve written in the past about unwanted email forwards and how they are more hilarious than irritating. Recently I received an email about ‘Do not open this mail, it contains a dangerous virus.’ The one thing that comes to my mind is that people who actually need such instructions would have already opened such mails and downloaded the virus, and people who do not need such warnings would be well off even without the forwards.

The surprising thing about email forwards is that no one is immune to sending them, even if the person has decades of experience in an IT company. Indeed most of the forwards are sent by techies having nothing better to do than to keep checking their inbox every 10 minutes. If only they would be so proactive in their coding.

The logic used by the people who chain-forward is that it is better to be safe than sorry, or why take chances when it is free of cost. Agreed, that forwarding an email doesn’t cost a dime, but no one keeps track of the time wasted on forwards and checking such emails. But the problem is that people (at least here in India) are gullible about most things on the Internet and most of them fail to do a simple background check before clicking that Forward button and spamming contacts with unwanted emails. Combine that by inserting a religious theme – Lord Ganesha will be furious, or Shani maharaj will do unwanted stuff to you in the future etc. and you have all the elements of a blockbuster chain email. I have yet to see what the situation is in more ‘developed’ countries. Still I’ve seen such chain messages even in YouTube comments so I’m not too confident about the situation being otherwise there too.

I divide email forwards into three categories:-

1) Totally useless/harmful – These are the kind of mails which do not provide any value add whatsoever. Most of them include a scary warning about relatives dying, or god cursing the receiver of the email if he or she doesn’t forward the email to 25 people in the next 4 hours or so.

2) Well intentioned but inaccurate – Out of the three types, these seem to be the largest group of email forwards which make the rounds. They consist of a seemingly useful piece of information which has been twisted, turned, exaggerated to make it seem more dangerous and urgent to act upon. Most of the time, it is all the handiwork of an idle person. These would include the rumours of plastics in Kurkure (read the clarification here), or the Coke-mentos story. Probably the Kurkure email was started by some over enthusiastic parent wanting to dissuade children from eating junk food. One of the most famous series of this category is the ones where Microsoft or Yahoo claims to donate 1$ every time a particular email is forwarded. Agreed, Bill Gates is philantrophic but if he decides to donate his money based on chain emails, his net worth would plummet to zero before you can say sub-prime.

3) Useful forwards - These are the very rare emails which pop up in your inbox once in a blue moon. One such example I saw was the ICE campaign where people were encouraged to store a particular contact number under the universal name ICE (In Case of Emergency). If nothing else, this could prove useful at times. Another types would include email forwards exhorting people to vote etc. But such forwards are very rare and you would consider yourself lucky if your contacts send you forwards of this category more than others.

I’ve purposely excluded spam mails from this classification because they are sent directly by the spammers and to a certain extent you can block them from sending such mails again. Email forwards on the other hand are sent by people in your contact books and there is no foolproof way to block such emails from them without affecting the flow of normal mails (if they send any)

All in all, chain mails are a source of humour for me and a quick test of the sender’s intelligence and common sense. Previously I used to reply to such mails and indirectly let the sender know that all he is doing is clogging other people’s inbox. But I realized that this won’t stop people from sending chain mails anyway, so why try. Now I just smile and delete such emails while praying for the sender to get some more self-control in sending such mails.

PS. Forward this link to 25 people in the next 30 minutes or else the following will happen:-

1) The ghost of the sub-prime crisis will haunt you forever

2) Your gmail account will be deleted as Google’s servers are getting very slow

3) There will be an attack of aliens from outerspace who will get into your brain and eat all your grey matter (if they find any left).

4) North Korea will attack South Korea which will prove to be the precursor to WW III.

Useful links

• Snopes – Rumour checker
• Using gmail to fight chain mails

Effective customer segmentation

This incident took place when I was travelling from Chennai to Mumbai by train. A vendor was selling an assortment of food items including potato wafers, chips and other eatables. As is the style in Indian trains, he was continuously shouting out what he was selling. This mainly included, “Wafers… kurkure…”.

But as soon as he came near our berth, where four of us guys were sitting, he immediately started shouting out “…cigarettes, gutkha, Manikchand…” How’s that for effective customer segmentation? Not that we bought anything from him, but on average this strategy would definitely help him garner more sales. Who says you need an MBA from a B-school to be an effective seller?

There are some things money can’t buy

One of my favourite ads is the Priceless series by Mastercard. This is where they list down a few expenses and then as the punchline, deliver something which cannot be measured in money. It conjures up a beautiful combination of pride and emotion for the viewer. Here’s my own version of the ad if ever the Indian Railways decided to follow that format..

Spirituality, psychoanalysis & stress-free living in 120 minutes

The following one-liners are inspired from an in-classroom conversation…

People who use humour consistently about any topic are trying to hide some guilt in the past. By using humour, they are trying to lessen their guilt in that topic.
- Psychology 101

People who have a good grasp of psychology are more likely to have been diagnosed by a shrink before.
- Psychology 102 (retort directed at the above statement)

Finding humour in seemingly unimportant daily occurrences is the key to living a stress-free life.
- Spirituality 101

Finding awakenness in a sleepy morning is the key to classroom decorum.
- Classroom Etiquette 101

Sleeping in class with eyes open is winning half the battle; the rest is won by just not caring when you’re actually awake.
- Classroom Etiquette 102